


Whisper, Whisper (Don't Make a Sound)

by SapphicPetunia



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Consent is Sexy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, FEMALE Spot Conlon, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, One Shot, Period Typical Attitudes, female racetrack higgins, in this house we stan female spot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 05:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17954618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicPetunia/pseuds/SapphicPetunia
Summary: Being a lesbian in the eighteen hundreds is hard work, but it’s work that Race is willing to put in for the girl she loves.





	Whisper, Whisper (Don't Make a Sound)

It was common knowledge that Racetrack Higgins spent her days selling at the Sheepshead Bay Race Track. It was also common knowledge that she and Spot Conlon were on friendly terms. It was not common knowledge, however, that as soon as they were both done selling, they went down to the docks, and that _friendly terms_ meant _making out under said docks_. It wasn’t common knowledge, because it wasn’t even knowledge. The only two people who knew about it were Spot and Race themselves.

Every time they saw each other, Spot was paranoid that someone would catch them. She never said it, she even tried to hide it, but Race just knew. She noticed when Spot tensed up every time the wooden planks creaked, or a shadow passed by, she noticed when Spot would dig her fingernails into her palms as they left, and she definitely noticed when a police officer on patrol actually did walk by above them and before she knew it, she was being shoved backwards against the wall.

“Oh my god, Race, I’m so sorry!” the petite brunette girl said in a whisper. Her face was only illuminated by the moonlight shining in through the docks, but Race could still see her terrified expression.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. No one’s has seen us.” Race turned and looked up to make sure the officer was gone. “You want to keep going?”

“Actually, I’se been meaning to talk to you about something for a awhile.” She paused. “You probably hasn’t noticed, but I've been kind of—”

“Increasingly paranoid?”

“…I was gonna say _jumpy_ , but… yeah." She glanced up. "I just _really_ don’t want to get caught.”

“I get it, I don’t want us to get caught either—”

“Race, you don’t understand. We _can’t_ get caught. If my newsies find out I’se been sneaking around at night kissin’ girls…” She paused and shivered. “They- they’ll never respect me again. I worked hard to get to where I am. Bein’ a girl is difficult in the first place, and bein’ a girl who _likes_ girls? I don’t know what they’d do to me.”

Race thought of how to respond for a moment. “Wow,” she said finally. “I never really thought about it that way before. Oh god, I… I’se sorry, Spottie.”

“Well, think about it then.” Spot reached for Race’s hand. “Think about the consequences. We’se could get arrested, Race! Or separated, at the very least ridiculed. Guys would think they could _fix_ us… Hell, Race, we’se could even be _killed_!”

“Don't say things like that!”

“Well, it's the truth! When we'se together, we have to be constantly alert, there's the fear of being found out, and I guess what I’se trying to say is that I don't think I can do this anymore!”

Race was taken aback. “I don't even know how to respond to that! Are you saying we should go back to just being friends?”

Spot sighed. “Maybe that’s just how this has to be right now. I'm sorry” She gave Race’s hand a squeeze before releasing it, and walked off into what, under any other circumstances, would have been a beautiful June night.

\---

Weeks passed, then weeks turned into months, and by October, it became obvious that things weren’t ever going to be the same between Racetrack Higgins and Spot Conlon. Race still sold at Sheepshead, and she and Spot were still on good terms, but it just wasn't the same. They didn't want anyone to know that anything had changed between them, because as far as the other newsies knew, there had never been anything between them. But it was so hard being alone, and not even having anyone to talk to about it. They would still greet each other if they walked past each other on the street, but the next time they had a one on one conversation was right after the strike was settled, a little over a year after they had ended things.

“Race!” The blonde girl heard her name being yelled over the noises of the celebrating newsies, but she couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from. She felt a tap on her arm, and she turned and saw Spot.

“Spot! Hey!” Race tried to be casual, as if the two of them hadn't spent the last year pretending they barely knew each other. “I’se was just lookin’ for you!"

"And I found you first." Spot dragged Race through the crowd, trying to shove her way past all the boys, while simultaneously keeping her grip on Race’s hand to ensure they didn’t get separated again. Race struggled to not trip over her skirt or get her arm pulled out of its socket.

"Race," Spot said when the two of them reached the outskirts of the crowd. "Can you believe it? We won! Oh my god, I cannot stop smiling! How do people do this with their faces?"

Race beamed. "We couldn't have done it without you, Spottie."

They embraced each other. It wasn’t romantic in nature, but it was warm and familiar, and it made Race realize that she missed Spot so much more than she thought.

“Race?” Spot said, quietly as they pulled apart. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.”

“Can we go somewhere more private?”

\---

The two girls walked hand in hand to the Manhattan lodging house, which was empty due to all the newsies that normally occupied it having gathered outside the World building. They could still hear the shouting from outside, but nobody saw them slip away, nor would anyone be able to hear them talk, so Race figured this was private enough. They walked up to the second floor and closed the door behind them before Spot spoke again.

“Racer, I really miss _us_.”

Race leaned against the old wooden door, and it creaked, startling them. She turned back to face Spot. “I do to.”

“I need you to know that after I broke up with you, I regretted it every day. I just wish everything could go back to the way it was.”

“If you regretted it, why didn't you come talk to me?”

“Because as much as I hated it, I knew it was the right decision.” She looked down at the ground. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

Race was very confused by her statement. “That totally contradicts what you did! If you wanted me to be happy, why would you leave me? Give me one good reason!”

“Damn it, Race! Don't you see? It's because I love you, and I care about you, and I don't want you to end up dead because of me!”

“Well, you think _I_ don't love _you_ ? You think _I_ don't care about _you_ ? Because I do, I really do, and if you think that love is just _givin’ up_ —”

“Love is protecting someone, even if it hurts! I was _not_ givin’ up, Racer! Givin’ up would be if I just let us get caught, not doing everything in my power to prevent that!”

Spot looked like she was about to start crying out of anger. She did not. Instead, she reached up, curling one hand around the back of Race’s neck, the other caressing her cheek. Without another moment’s hesitation, she kissed her, soft and slow. Race smiled into the kiss as she placed her hands on the shorter girl’s waist, drawing her in closer. When they separated, they stood there, holding each other, saying nothing.

“Did we really just confess our love for each other in the form of an argument?” Race asked after a minute.

“Did we really just confess our love while yellin’ in a place where anyone could hear us?” Spot glanced around, as if someone was going to pop out from behind the door.

“Spottie, I think we’se good.”

“And you ain’t mad?”

“I was never mad. I was hurt for a while, but like you said: You just wanted me to be happy.”

“I just thought…” She trailed off.

“But it's _you_ that makes me happy, Cecilia.”

Spot smiled when Race used her real name. “You make me happy too, Antoinette.”

Race kissed her temple, then down the side of her face and neck. Whens she reached her collarbone, she moved back up until their lips connected again. As they kissed, they made their way over to Race’s bed, never separating.

“You want to do this?” Race asked. The blonde was sitting on her bed with the smaller girl pressed against her and straddling her waist. She could feel Spots heart beating a mile a minute against her chest. “Or do you want to wait until we’se somewhere more hidden?”

“No. I want to do this. I’ll try to be less paranoid.” As soon as she said it, Spot looked over her shoulder at the doorway. “But we still have to be careful.”

“I think I'se can be careful enough for the both of us.” Race said as Spot rolled off of her lap and onto the bed, and Race moved so she was now on top of her. “For now, you just relax,” she whispered before leaning down and kissing Spot again.


End file.
